Rules.

Rule 1. Never sleep with a guy on the first date
Rule 2. Never sleep with a guy on the first date.
Rule 3. No matter how hard he tries-- never sleep with a guy on the first date.

Ladies, take this advice if you want a decent relationship.
Take this advice if you want the guy to respect you
Take this advice if you want the guy to keep interest in you

But hey... don't wait too long or else he'll leave either way
So basically..... third date, or .... if it feels right (not the first date tho, don't want to rush things)

.

I feel horrible right now.

College

You have four years to be irresponsible here. Relax. Work is for people with jobs. You'll never remember class time, but you'll remember the time you spent hanging out with your friends. So stay up late, go out on Tuesday when you have a paper due Wednesday. Spend money you don't have. Drink 'til sunrise. The work never ends, but college does."
- Tom Petty

This quote I found is so great, and now that I think of it, its so true.
Memories of class will definately be lost...
but the friendships you make, the parties, the hangouts... will never be forgotten.
Your life is what you make of it. Don't waste it on being dull and choosing to work too much-- because when your older and look back on life... what memories will you have?



<3

Formal

Saturday night. Formal
I was looking forward to this event for such a long time...
only to be kicked out.
I spent 40 dollars the ticket-- and I didn't even get food!
I guess thats what you get when you decide to pound before the event...
I was such an idiot that night.
Just thinking about it makes me cringe, because I made SUCH a fool of myself.
Talking back and demanding a refund isn't that great when your drunk
I'm sure the people working weren't even taking me seriously.
such an embarrassment
even better-- i ended up balling my eyes out on the way back. Great.
Classy.

I ended up going back to south and started pounding again with some friends.
I don't remember half the night--- but it was great.
embarrassing, but in the end... still a good time.


<3

High.

AGHHHH

End of the school year

So the end of the school year is coming up...
and I must say I am really dreading it.
This whole year was definately a blast.
I enjoyed pretty much all of it, minus the late nights of studying (hey, actually some of those were pretty fun... haha shots at 4 in the morning<3)
It was all so worth it.
I have also learned a heck of alot too
not just in class-- but also common sense
university is an amazing experience
I love everything that came out of it.
I also met a good amount of friends, people that I hope to keep in touch with even after university is over.
agggggh. time goes by when you are having fun.
and I am excited for next year-- more good times to come.


<3

sunshine!

ohhh the weather is looking nice!
spring is near, and i am sooo happy.
you know what this means?
JOGS!
I can start working out again!
this makes me rather happy.


<3

uuugh

Okay so I am a little dispointed that I am not working in the Kelso location for my job this summer.
I am working at King's Collegiate, wherever that is.
Somewhere in Oakville... but I reallly wanted to be in Kelso!
Its weird because I had a dream about a week ago that I got a location that wasn't Kelso.
And woooopty dooooo
I got another location!
Hah. I guess dreams really do come true:|
the dreams I don't want to come true anyways.

whatever.
I'm still thrilled that I got the job.

Wasting Time

So I am sitting here. On my bed. Doing nothing.
I should be studying, but I am not
whats wrong with me??????
Its like 3 in the morning and I cannot sleep. This really sucks.
I need sleeping pills. Some good sleeping pills.
I reallly cant stop thinking either, school has been flooding my mind-- and I really am stressed out.
I just want to go on vacation
cuba?
sweeeeet. bring me there please.
I want to sip on pina caladas and rum & coke ... and of course do nothing but party all day
HAA in my dreaaaammmmss.

peace && love.

<3

Jealousy

It sucks.
Thats all I can say.
I have allllwayyyyss been a jealous person-- yet some people cannot tell because I do hide it.
Theres always someone better out there,
prettier, smarter, more talented than you.
Even the girl that gets the guy you have always wanted can be a killer.
I have always dealt with jealousy issues-- more so in my past, and even now it sometimes creeps up on me.
Not as much with looks, but more with guys I like.
I tend to be the one chasing the guy that I cannot have... therefore I am always jealous of the girl he ends up with. It just sucks.
Its just hard seeing someone you like, or even love... with someone else.
The feeling in your stomach, and the pain that follows is horrible.. and its something I have always dealt with.
Espcially with him... someone I have loved for so long, but got no where with it.
I was SO damn naiive, but I don't regret anything.
I have learned that it is not worth it to go for someone that is already taken... especially if they show you that they are also interested in you.
I guess I learned that guys aren't everything.


<3

26 Facts about ME

1) i love to sleep. But i can't seem to fall asleep during the night--- only during the day

2) i LOVE to draw, paint and do anything creative.

3) i always zone out. Whether i day dream or think asbout random things.

4) i hate when people tell me what to do. It reallllllllly bothers me.

5) I chase guys. I can't seem to stop, but I know that chasing drives them away.

6) When I want something, Ill find a way to get it. I am a very cumpulsive person.

7) I am impatient, and I get bored easily. If I am ever at a party, I'll always go around and talk to EVERYONE, I hate standing in one place for too long.

8) I love to drive with the music loud. I get lost in my thoughts while i drive... and i am surprised I haven't gotten into an accident yet

9) I am smarter then you think. I may be silly on the outside, and full of smiles and laughs... but in the inside I actually do think clearly and I am aware of whats going on.

10) I am too nice.

11) I want my own car when I graduate. A BMW would be perferable.

12) I don't want to marry rich. I want my own job, and I want my husband to have a decent job too. I hate the feeling of being dependant on someone else for their funds (ie parents... but i dont have much of a choice now)

13) I always want what I cant have.

14) I am too picky when it comes to guys. But yet i always like the ones who are out of the ordinary

15) I don't think before I do. I live for the moment

16) I learn from my mistakes. It may sometimes take more than one time... but I turn every bad experience into a positive learning one

17) I thank God for everything I have before i go to bed

18) I am close with my family.

19) I play the sims. and i am proud of it

20) I like to be productive. I hate when I am bored doing nothing. Therefore I need to be either working, or working on homework, or hanging out with friends. I like to keep busy, it makes me appreciate down time more.

21) I like to be ahead of things. When I was in gr9, I always looked at gr12 art and thought of projects I'd come up with when I reached grade 12.

22) I am scared of getting old. More so, I am scared of death. Life is too beautiful.

23) spanish is a sexy language. I want to learn how to speak it before i turn 24

24) this is my favorite number.

25) I love the anticipation before something happens.

26) I am constantly smiling or laughing. I can't seem to help it. I think almost everything is funny-- but if your not funny, I won't laugh.

Thrill of the chase.

Its a fact.
I always want what I can't have.

Works of Art

Here are some works that I have done in my high school years. All are an accumulation of grade9 to grade12.

1. Self Portrait.

Acrylic on canvas.
Done in grade 12, and the project objective was to create a self portrait using acrylics. I tried to make it as realistic as I could with acrylic paints, which is hard considering that they dry really fast.

2. Abuse.

Acrylic on canvas. The project objection was to create a painting which illustrated a social issue. Mine of course was the subject of child abuse-- and I also had to incorporate a technique used from an artist we studied in that class. My influence was Van Gogh, because I found his loose brush strokes and swirling lines quite fascinating.
The painting depicts a child's nightmares. The child... is havign visions of his abusive father who is taunting his mind. The swirling red brush strokes signify the fear and the pain that the child is going through.
My art teacher
cried when she saw this.

3. Piano Girls.

Acrylic on canvas. The project objective was to re-create a modernized painting from a well known artist in the past. My choice was Renoir, Young Girls at the Piano. I really like this painting because it is displayed in my house, and when I was little it used to remind me of my sister and I. I think that is why my parents bought it. I also had to experiment with the artist's style, in order to create the same look as the original. I think I failed with acheiving it, because Renoir's painting looked more light and the strokes were looser. Have a look for yourselves.



4 and 5. Untitled


These works were done in grade 9. The objective was to create a monochromatic painting with any colour of choice in a frame of grayscale. I liked this project because I had the freedom to pick any subject matter I liked-- away from just boxes and buildings and things I weren't interested in (grade 9 art was a disaster... I absolutely hate point perspective...although it does come in handy) I prefer portraits as a subject matter-- and also anything to do with the human figure. I love to paint the expressions on the face, and I also find the human body quite beautiful. It is also interesting to paint. Some people find it to be a challenge, yet I find it fun.



6. Mandala.

This work was done with pencil crayons. It was a grade11 project, and the objective was to create a mandala which symbolized who we are in the inside-- and the environmet we love on the outside. I loved this project because I got a chance to work with pencil crayons-- and when you work with the right ones (not crayola) you can actually layer and build up tones and create new colours. It was such a fun project to do.

7. Printmaking.

This project was also done in grade11-- It was an introduction to the art of printmaking. This project was different because instead of using the traditional tools-- such as pencils or paint brushes... we got to use softoleum. The Objective of this project was to carve out a print in the softoleum material using special tools which allowed us to do so. Once we were finished, w e got a chance to print these (just like stamps) on a piece of paper, using a special roller to roll on the ink. We could choose from a variety of colours-- and as you can see I chose the spectrum of the rainbow.

8. Fantasy Landscape.

Now a little step away from colour... and onto the black and white drawings
This drawing was done in grade11, for my culminating project. Done with ink pens. The objective of the project was to create a landscape using our imagination. We had to look up other pictures as our source that would help us come up with a good composition. I chose an interesting temple from Cambodia (Ankor Watt) because I found the trees would make a great way to incorporate mysterious figures within the drawing.

9. Animal Metamorphasis.

Graphite on paper. This was done in grade 12, and the objective of this drawing was to create an animal--from 2 completely different animals. I chose a horse and a peacock because I found they would smoothly metamorphasize into each other without looking too fake, or forced. This project was rather difficult, because there are so many animals to choose from... but so little compositions that could actually work. Also, my teacher was extremely hard with marking this drawing because she really understand the anatomy of a horse... so every little detail I did wrong she found it. Including one of the horses ankles.

10. Still Life.

Graphite on paper. This project was done in grade11, and the objective was to create an interesting composition with everyday objects. The focus of this project was to create tones and have an understanding of shading an object.




11. Self Portrait (Childhood).

Graphite on paper, create in grade11. The objective of this project was to create a portrait of ourselves when we were children. We had to show our understanding of facial features from when we were little, and how childhood features differ from adolescent features. I chose this picture because I found it was funny, because my face is absolutely ridiculous. It was my first picture day at school, I was in junoir kindergarten. I think I was upset because I wanted a different colour background, but they gave me red instead.

12. Self Portrait.
Last but not least...

Graphite on paper. Done in grade 12. Objective was to further show our understanding with the facial features. I chose this picture because It is a slight side view-- which would force me to challenge myself to draw a portrait that isn't straight on. I was already comfortable with drawing portraits by this time, so I thought it would be interesting to try something different.











These are basically a collection of school projects. There will be more works to be posted, but for now... that's enough for this blog. I hope you enjoyed.

<3.>

Studio

Its official.
I need my own art studio.
I am fed up with working on my bed/lack of a desk
Maybe I should purchase a drafting table?
question is..
where will I put it?
I only have the masterbedroom for half a school year. I def should have gotten it for the whole school year. Should have argued more for it... but I guess I'm just being fair:|

Garage?
I think I'll use the garage as my new art studio... until it gets cold.
aghhhhhhhhhh

Death

The concept of death really scares me
And I always end up thinking about it.

It really scares me knowing that one day I will die, and it could be anytime.
I could die from anything-- a disease, an accident... who knows, maybe the world could explode.
But its coming and that is what worries me the most.
Life is too beautiful to waste, and I love every second of it.

It also worries me that one day, I am going to lose a loved one. A family member... maybe even a friend. I really hope it won't come soon... but It is going to happen. I don't know how I would deal with the loss of someone I love, because I have never really lost someone.
I hear about suicides frequently..
especially the ones happening in my home town.
They really upset me, because those kids were so young...
For me its like they are missing one of my greatest fears, and it actually amazes me how someone could overcome the concept of death

But whats going to happen after death?
I think about it from time to time.
will we become nothing?
Whats it like to be.... non existent?
It scares me to death, even though I was non-existent for about.... millions of years
I hope that there is an afterlife.
I hope that one day I will be able to see all my loved ones again.
I hate when this subject comes up in my thoughts
It is just hard to grasp... but I never actually do want to die.
I love life too much. And I am so grateful for everything I have

Serious Lack of Motivation

This is something I absolutely lack in certain areas.
It just boggles my mind why I can be so lazy sometimes.
I don't understand why a bad test mark, or even a bad grade in a project will make me pick up my work habits. But yet I continue with my same habits every day.

This calls for a change.
I tell myself this every day-- work harder... try harder, STUDY. But I just cannot do it.
I am dragged into the world of pleasure, and I find it hard to get out.
Whether is talking to friends on msn, reading a book or even sleeping... It always takes away my time from doing the stuff I should be doing.
My homework.
I just cannot seem to do it, and it kills me.

For example-- today I was to work on nothing but my homework, and what did I end up doing?
sleeping.
Its ridiculous and I have to change it.

When I recieved my bad test marks... all I could say was "I have to study more"
but what am I doing now? writing on this damn blog page.
Its some sort of problem I have and I cannot get out of it!


I need to motivate myself SO much more, but I just don't know how to.

I love it.

I am extremely excited to start writing stuff on my blog page.
Just whenever it comes to writing for me, it has to be spontaneous.
I have to have some sort of urge to write-- I have to be thinking about something, or something worth writing has to cross my mind.
I find that I am horrible to come up with ideas on the spot-- I need to have time to think about them. My imagination isn't as great, especially for someone as creative as me. But when I do think of something, it may be interesting.
I know my page may suck now, because I just created it... welll today. But once I do get into writing, expect personal stories, my thoughts and feelings towards certain things... and also things that have effected me. There are countless things to write about, and I love it.


<3.

So I've Made a Blog Page

This is is SWEET! Yet, I am horrible at writing, so basically I'm just going to say whatever crosses my mind.

So okay,
I just woke up from yet another nap, and of course I had the weirdest dream ever.
I dreamt that I went on a date with some dude whom I figured out that I wasn't sexually attracted too... he therefore called me right when I got home from the date only to sit there and breathe on the phone. Then he came to my house and watched the stars with me in my backyard (which I don't have much of a backyard... so therefore this was a random field). Then suddenly I was in my residence when the fire alarm went off-- but there was a war (Call Of Duty) going on outside... so my friends and I decided to hide somewhere in res, while the rest of the world was getting blown up.

seriously, I dont know where my dreams take me... but they are so damn intense